Transcripts/A Trivial Pursuit
Spike: Okay, Spike. You know you might get distracted by the stacks of books and copious charts, so remember what to say. "Twilight, I know you're in full prep mode for Trivia Trot tomorrow, but you need to get some sleep!" Huh. laughs Nice work. You got this. : opens : Spike: gasps This is weird. : thud : Spike: Twilight! What are you doing? : Twilight Sparkle: Great question, Spike! And the answer is... : rings : Twilight Sparkle: ...going to bed! Brains need eight hours of sleep to perform at optimum levels! : Spike: Oh. Cool. I thought I'd have to force you to go to bed since tomorrow is your chance to be the first pony to win Ponyville Trivia three times in a row. That is tomorrow, right? : Twilight Sparkle: The answer is... : rings : Twilight Sparkle: ...yes! Ask me another one. : Spike: Another what? : Twilight Sparkle: Another question! I want to stay in the zone. That way, I can sleep in the zone! Wake up in the zone! And be totally in the zone tomorrow! : beat : Spike: Uh, this is a whole new level of "Twilight-ing", isn't it? Heh. : Twilight Sparkle: The answer is... : rings : Twilight Sparkle: ...yes! : Spike: Are you okay? : Twilight Sparkle: The answer is... : rings : Twilight Sparkle: ...yes! : Spike: Well, good night, Twilight. Good luck with your brain sleep and getting that third win. chuckles : Twilight Sparkle: The answer is... : rings : Twilight Sparkle: ...good night! And yes! : Spike: That wasn't a question. : song : Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you decided to come watch your first Trivia Trot, Spike. I hope the rules aren't too confusing. : Spike: Rules? Isn't trivia just asking questions and answering them? : Twilight Sparkle: laughs The Trot is a little more involved than that. Let's start with the first category of rules. reading "Categories. Rule one: Each category must be categorically designated and thoroughly researched in all categorical..." : Twilight Sparkle: "...participating in Trivia Trot." And that wraps up rule forty-one point six. Of course, the exception to that – rule forty-one point six A – is interesting itself because— : Spike: Oh, look! We're here! : Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! I can't wait to see who my partner's gonna be! : Spike: You don't get to pick your own team? : Twilight Sparkle: Rule twenty point one six B, Spike. To keep things fair, the teams are randomly selected. : Spike: sarcastically Twenty point one six B. How could I forget? : Twilight Sparkle: And based on the regular attendees, I've charted every potential teammate's strengths and weaknesses, plus my percentage of winning with each one! : Spike: Ha! I knew there'd be a chart! Glad I'm just watching. I don't think I could handle being your teammate. What if I let you down? : Twilight Sparkle: laughs You could never let me down, Spike. But I'm glad you're watching, too. I'm going to need all the support I can get for win number three! : opens : conversations : Applejack: Well, well, well, if it ain't our reignin' champ. Think you can win again this week, Twilight? : Twilight Sparkle: Everypony here has a different area of expertise, so it really is anypony's game. But yes! : Rainbow Dash: Then you better hope you get paired with me, because I am gonna rule this game! : opens : Sunburst: We'll just see about that! I didn't come all the way from the Crystal Empire to lose. And I hope you realize I have the highest percentage of correct answers, and I aim to keep it that way. : Rainbow Dash: whickers I hope you realize not every category is gonna be "Spells So Old, Not Even Star Swirl the Bearded Remembers Them". : Fluttershy: I hope there's one on fur maintenance for adorable creatures, because I've been 'brushing up'. giggles : Angel: angrily : Mudbriar: Technically, that was a category last week. : Maud Pie: It won't be in the game tonight. : Twilight Sparkle: Rule thirty-seven point two C. No back-to-back categories. But I think Fluttershy was joking. : opens : Pinkie Pie: Sure sounded like a joke to me! giggles Woo-hoo! : Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie?! : Pinkie Pie: Present! : musical sting : Twilight Sparkle: muttering : Spike: What's wrong, Twilight? : Twilight Sparkle: I hadn't anticipated Pinkie Pie as a potential player! She's never played before! My chart is completely off! I have no way to predict what'll happen, and unpredictable is not good for a Trivia Trot three-peat! : Spike: Do I have to do that thing where I list all your successes as Princess of Friendship to put things into perspective and remind you this is just a game? : Twilight Sparkle: Spike! This has nothing to do with being the Princess of Friendship! And this is not just a game! This! Is! Trivia Trot! : tapping : Granny Smith: Okay, settle down, everypony. I'm fixin' to pick these here teams. : cheers : Twilight Sparkle: gasps It's starting! I have to reevaluate my chart! Spike, I need you to find the part on matchups! Can you look outside? : zap : opens : Spike: What'd I miss? : Twilight Sparkle: Granny's about to call out the fifth team. Sunburst gave me the highest chance of winning, but he's been paired with Cranky Doodle! : Cranky Doodle Donkey: muttering What? Who's that? : Twilight Sparkle: At least Rainbow Dash and Applejack aren't together. Team Apple-Dash is basically unstoppable. : Applejack: growls : Rainbow Dash: growls : Twilight Sparkle: And apart they'll spend all their energy trying to one-up each other, so that only helps my chances. : Bulk Biceps: Let's do this! Yeah! : Twilight Sparkle: Eh, not every team is a threat, but there aren't many ponies left. : Granny Smith: All righty, hold on to your horseshoes, 'cause the next pair of players is... Maud and Mudbriar! : groans : Spike: What's wrong? : Twilight Sparkle: Maud and Mudbriar have been paired together every week. It's a statistical improbability! Which would be fine if they weren't so good. : sizzling : Twilight Sparkle: gasp Oh, no! According to my calculations, the only pony who could really threaten my winning streak is...! : Granny Smith: And our final pair of contestants for this week's Trivia Trot is... Twilight and Pinkie Pie! : Pinkie Pie: Twilight! It's you and me! Isn't that great? : clatter : Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. Great. : Spike: So, I'm guessing the one pony who could mess up your winning streak is Pinkie? : Pinkie Pie: Twilight! I can't believe we're partners for a game! I love games! And I'm super duper excited for this game because it'll be my first time ever playing, and I get to play with you, which makes it even funner! : zip! : Pinkie Pie: Twilight and Pinkie Pie forever! Ooh! We could be Team Twinkie! Or gasps Team Pink-Light! gasps Sparkle Pie! No-no-no-no! gasps Twi-Pie! squee : Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I'm glad you're excited, but tonight's game is special. I could be the first pony ever to win three consecutive Trots in a row. And I'm really hoping I do. : Pinkie Pie: You don't have anything to worry about. I'll do everything I can to be the bestest and most funnest teammate ever. : ringing : Spike: So... still think you can win? : Twilight Sparkle: exhales I know I can. Pinkie might not be the partner I expected, but I can coach her along. And besides, I'm pretty good at this game. If she misses a few, I'm sure I can pick up the slack. : blows : Pinkie Pie: Let's get this party started! : Twilight Sparkle: nervously : Granny Smith: Now, the first order of business is we need somepony to keep score. : Spike: I'll do it! : Applejack: laughs I'm not sure you wanna take that job, Spike. The score-keepin' can get a mite intense. : Sunburst: Yeah. Starlight used to do it, but now... Well, I can't even say the word "trivia" around her. : Granny Smith: scoffs Apple mash. Don't let them scare ya. You'll be fine. Now, let the games begin! (the audience excitedly cheers for her) : Granny Smith: The first category is "Literary Figures". : groans : Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! A category about books! We're off to a great start! : Pinkie Pie: giggles : Granny Smith: throat Who is the pony that despises the holiday season in the old classic A Hearth's Warmin' Tale? : rings : Pinkie Pie: The answer is nopony! Because everypony ends up loving the holiday with singing, festive cakes, and thoughtful presents! : beat : Granny Smith: Well, as much as that ain't exactly wrong, it ain't exactly right neither. : Pinkie Pie: nervously : Twilight Sparkle: whines : Spike: Just doing my job, Twilight. : Twilight Sparkle: sighs : Pinkie Pie: Sorry. I didn't know we could have negative points. : Twilight Sparkle: It's fine, Pinkie. But maybe it'll help our chances if I coach you as we go. Tip one – try sitting still. : Pinkie Pie: Can do, Coach Twilight— : Twilight Sparkle: And don't get distracted. Or be distracting. Oh, and remember to listen carefully. Also, it's best to keep quiet between questions. : Pinkie Pie: Got it. : Pinkie Pie: whimpers Sitting still, sitting still, sitting still...! under : Granny Smith: Which topographical locale used to be a cavern, but after thousands of years of erosion, is now a gorge? : Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! : Pinkie Pie: What?! : rings : Maud Pie: The answer is the Ghastly Gorge. : Granny Smith: That is one hundred percent correct! : Applejack: chomp : Granny Smith: The next category is "Apples"! : Rainbow Dash: Rigged! : Applejack: I didn't hear you complain when the category was "Wonderbolt History". : Rainbow Dash: But... stutters that-that's totally different! : Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Pinkie. Remember, the category is "Apples". Keep your mind on apples. : Pinkie Pie: Apples, apples, apples, apples... Ooh, and oranges. And grapes! And strawberries. gasps Strawberry cupcakes! I'm hungry. : Granny Smith: Which variety of apple only blooms for five days? : Rainbow Dash: coughs Don't choke. whistles : Applejack: Now, why would I choke on a question about apples? Uh... What was the question again? : Granny Smith: You kiddin' me? : Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Pinkie, you know this one. Mysterious apples? Only around for five days? : Pinkie Pie: gasps : growls : Pinkie Pie: Quiet down there. Pretty sure there's a rule against tummies ringing in. : rings : Fluttershy: Um, I'm just guessing, but is it zap apples? : Granny Smith: Finally! Yes, Fluttershy, it is. At least somepony here knows her apples. : Bulk Biceps: Yeah! : thud : Fluttershy: laugh : growls : Spike: One minute left in the refreshment/bathroom break—! Aah! : Twilight Sparkle: Spike! I don't think I can coach Pinkie well enough for us to get my three-peat! I don't want her to feel bad! She's trying so hard, but I might have to start answering everything myself! : Pinkie Pie: Look, Twilight! No more belly growl interruptions for Team Twi-Pie! gulps : Spike: Maybe instead of focusing on Pinkie, you should just focus on how you're playing. : Twilight Sparkle: Or... I should look at how everypony else is playing. : Granny Smith: Hope you're all in your seats 'cause the break is over, and it is time for more questions. muttering Let me see, uh... How do you say "reward" in Olde Ponish? : Pinkie Pie: gasps : smack! : rings : Cranky Doodle Donkey: snoring : Sunburst: "Reward" in Olde Ponish is "hliet". : Granny Smith: Correct! : Twilight Sparkle: Sleeping! : muttering : Twilight Sparkle: throat Sunburst's partner is sleeping. And according to rule fifty-seven point six, sleeping on the table is subject to dis-qual-i-fi-ca-tion! : Granny Smith: Oh, looky here. That's an actual rule. Cranky is disqualified. I'm sorry, Sunburst. Without your teammate, you can't play neither. : Sunburst: Aw, fine! But I'm counting that as a correct answer! groans Can't even stay awake for five minutes... : Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Pinkie. We're not out of this game yet. : Angel: whispering : Fluttershy: gasps : rings : Fluttershy: Is the answer carrots? : Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Rule thirteen point two! No help from pets! : Applejack: Nyah! : Rainbow Dash: Nyah! : Twilight Sparkle: Rule seventy-two point eight! No sticking tongues out at opponents! : Twilight Sparkle: Motion to establish new rule! No expressionless contestants! : Granny Smith: Nice try. : Twilight Sparkle: Fine. : Granny Smith: The next category is... "Cupcakes"! : Pinkie Pie: gasps Twilight! I know all about those! You have to let me help! : Twilight Sparkle: heavily Suuuure! Just when we're finally back in the game! crazily Why, that sounds perfect, Pinkie, but... Ooh! Isn't that a confetti appreciation parade I see? : Pinkie Pie: Where?! : zip! : Granny Smith: What flavor cupcakes did Princess Celestia order for Princess Luna's surprise birthday party last year? : Pinkie Pie: Wait, what?! : rings : Twilight Sparkle: Double midnight chocolate fudge with chili pepper frosting! : Granny Smith: Correct! : Pinkie Pie: Hey! I knew that! I made those cupcakes! : Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Pinkie. But you were looking at the parade, and I didn't want our team to miss out on the point. : Pinkie Pie: I guess that makes sense, but which way did that confetti parade go anyway? : rings : Twilight Sparkle: 1547 Pony B.E.! : smack! : rings : Twilight Sparkle: Vanhoover! : splat : rings : Twilight Sparkle: Cutie Pox! : rings : Twilight Sparkle: Bananaaaaas! : Granny Smith: The category is "Sticks and Stones". : Twilight Sparkle: brays I don't know anything about those! That's not any kind of category! : Mudbriar: Technically, it's a kind of category where we know the answers and you don't. : Twilight Sparkle: hyperventilating : Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, fellow Twi-Pie. I grew up on a rock farm. I'm sure I know some of these. : Twilight Sparkle: faster : Granny Smith: What kind of stone can be used to start a fire? : rings : Pinkie Pie: The black one! : Maud Pie: The answer is flint. : Pinkie Pie: Yeah, that one! We both get points, right? : Sunburst: Sorry, Pinkie. Rule four – answers must be specific and exact. I'd help you if I could. I know this category pretty well. : Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Pinkie! I forgot the name of that famous rock in Griffonstone. Could you ask Maud? : Pinkie Pie: You got it! Hey, Maud! What's the name of the famous rock in Griffonstone? : Maud Pie: Pinkie, you can't ask me that. : Pinkie Pie: Sure I can. I just did. : muttering : Pinkie Pie: What? : Granny Smith: You can't go and ask another player about rocks when that's the category. It's in the rulebook. Where's... Sorry, Pinkie, but you're disqualified. : Pinkie Pie: What?! : thud : Pinkie Pie: I-I can't believe I'm disqualified! whines : Twilight Sparkle: nervously I'm sorry, Pinkie. Guess I forgot about that rule. : Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! If I'm out, you don't have a partner! You won't be able to get your third win! : Twilight Sparkle: Actually, since there's another player who has also had his teammate disqualified... : Sunburst: Rule nineteen point seven B, whereby players whose teammates were disqualified may form a new team. : Pinkie Pie: Oh. Okay. Um, I'll just cheer you on from... over there. : deflate : Granny Smith: The next category is "Ancient Legends". : Twilight Sparkle: Oh, we're gonna crush this round! : Sunburst: I don't know, Twilight. You seem out of the zone today. But don't worry. I can pick up the slack. : Twilight Sparkle: What?! I am the reigning Trot champ! If there's any slack that needs picking, I'll be the up! I mean, wait... : Sunburst: I'm just saying you seem a little frazzled, and I do have a correct answer percentage to maintain. : Granny Smith: Who traveled to Equestria from a distant land seeking to steal the magic from its pony inhabitants? : rings : Twilight Sparkle: That would be Lord Tirek! : rings : Mudbriar: Technically, that answer is incomplete. The answer is Lord Tirek and Scorpan. : Twilight Sparkle: But Scorpan tried to convince Tirek not to do it, so technically he wasn't part of it, even if he started out—! groans Never mind. : music : rings : rings : Twilight Sparkle: Look, Sunburst. I realize I may have been a little off earlier, but I'm really good at this game. : Granny Smith: How many holes are there in Daring Do's hat? : rings : Rainbow Dash: Twenty! : Granny Smith: Correct! : Rainbow Dash: Ha! : Sunburst: Twilight, I knew that one! You just cost us a point and the correct answer I needed to boost my percentage! : Twilight Sparkle: Well, I knew it, too. You're not the only pony to ever read a book, you know? : Sunburst: You're right, Twilight. I'm sorry. But now that I think about it, I'm not so sure about Dash's answer. Could you do a quick fact check? : Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I know it's twenty. But if you want proof... Wait! According to rule eighteen point three, I can't check outside reference material. : zap : Twilight Sparkle: gasps Are you trying to get me disqualified?! What kind of pony would do that to their own teammate?! : Sunburst: You're right, Twilight. I don't know what got into me. I was so focused on my correct answers, I wasn't thinking straight. Can you forgive me? : Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Sunburst. I understand. And I have a teammate of my own to apologize to. Lucky for you, Cranky's awake. And according to rule fifty-seven point six B... : Sunburst: Players previously disqualified for sleeping may rejoin the game. Provided they're well-rested. : Cranky Doodle Donkey: mutters Where am I? What time is it? Where are my morning haycakes?! : Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you were the best teammate I could ask for, but I let wanting to win keep me from seeing that. : Pinkie Pie: scoffs I knew you wanted to win, but I probably could have helped a little. And even if I couldn't... : Twilight Sparkle: ...we still could've had fun. I'm so sorry for not realizing it. I got so obsessed with one thing, I forgot what really mattered. : Pinkie Pie: sarcastically No! That doesn't sound like you at all! : Twilight Sparkle: Well, win or lose, nothing is more important than my friend. Or my team. Twi-Pie forever? : Pinkie Pie: I-I don't know. : Twilight Sparkle: I understand. I guess even the Princess of Friendship can mess things up with her friends. : Pinkie Pie: Oh, it's not that. It's just that I already changed it to Team Twi-Burst, and now I guess I should change it to Sun-Doodle? chomps : Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I have a better idea. : Twilight Sparkle: According to rule thirteen point two, players can join the game at any time, provided they start from zero. : Pinkie Pie: Wow. These rules are really convoluted. But doesn't starting from zero mean we'll lose? : Twilight Sparkle: Well, our chances aren't good, but the odds of having fun on Team Twi-Pie are one hundred percent! : Granny Smith: What is the name of the Ponyville Day Spa's most popular candle? : rings : Granny Smith: Uh... no. : Twilight Sparkle '''and '''Pinkie Pie: laugh : credits